无为，无求，有所得，有所思。

第50天。

好友cindy生日，同时与好友fado订婚。算是最近听到的好消息了，衷心的祝福，虽然公开表示的我不是第一个。

The last thing I got from her, or maybe not her, does not matter.

I have suffered for the following issues for ages before:

R we just friend?

If so, why borrowed things never be returned? And if do not want to return, why said “borrow” ?

If so, why even less of basic sincerity and respect?

A msg, the second last thing from her, showing the address. Why not in her name? She should know that this is the most hurt to me and so did this just want me to suffer for the last time, and as every time she did before? What’s more, she definitely know what’s my wish and can not come ture, why said “心想事成”?

I’m struggling on these, and can not get the answer from her or anywhere, so i am pain.

However, now everything is gone except the true love.

If love, i must love a real person.

Means she will have weakness and flaw.

Will cheat, will make mistakes, will fall sick and will die at last.

If i love this person, i love the whole person, not partly.

Neither because i am fool, nor i am impulsive.

But i know this is the only way to love, from my heart.

If my love depends on a lot of things, then i will know i’m not really love in fact.

This time, i know, i love her.

Now i’m really happy and peaceful. Not sure if she is as well.

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